I want to elaborate on why it’s important for moms to focus on well-being.
To start, let me say that it’s NOT because….
- You don’t already have what it takes to mother from a place of deep wisdom and care.
- You have so many issues to resolve.
- You should perfect the way you parent.
I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again. We’re hard enough on ourselves as it is, routinely focusing on how we need to do – or be – more, whether that means more involved at our child’s school, more engaged in an activity, or more patient when the kids are being – well, kids.
Making a commitment to learning and growth is different than turning ourselves – and our children – into perpetual self-improvement projects.
So, why is well-being important if you’re not a problem to be solved – if you’re already incredibly wise, capable, and caring?
Unfortunately, most of us aren’t fully aware – or appreciative – of our innate strengths and capacities. Instead, our goodness is often overshadowed by limiting beliefs, fears, and judgment. Busyness and stress also make it hard to see beyond plans and problems. Can you relate?
The skills of well-being that I mentioned in last week’s post will help you learn mind states, habits, and triggers that hold you back from living and mothering the way you want and show you how to fully embrace your rock star-goodness.
Ultimately, cultivating well-being will help you regain access to your whole self.
If that sounds too woo-woo, you can think about it from a neuroscience perspective. We’re equipped with brains that contain all the necessary parts to be insightful, calm, present, and deeply caring. We just need to exercise these parts in order to build upon what’s best inside. In the same way Dr. Dan Siegel talks about children using their whole brain, we can learn to do the same.
How to do this?
Mostly through practice, my friend. It’s a truism because it’s true. What you practice grows stronger. When you practice the skills of resilience, calm, and presence, you not only model well-being for your children, but also make well-being a way of life.
As a final point related to why well-being, science shows that the single most important way your children will learn how to regulate their feelings & experience genuine happiness is by watching you.
In essence, when you internalize – and live – the skills, your kids and partner get the best of you – and learn how to become the best versions of themselves.